8.9.09

I’m now stationed at The Horseshoe casino in Tunica, Ms. I had spent the last two nights staying at America’s Best Value Inn. To me nothing says quality like the way saying “America’s Best Value Inn” rolls off the tongue.

“Hey, how long you in town?” the young woman asked me. It was clear she was enthralled with my playing poker for a living. I had to chuckle to myself at this development, knowing full well an evening with her would surely kill me.

“About a week, or so, I’ll see how things go.” I answered confidently. She had long, blond hair. He eyes were the color of a NY Jets jersey. She was being obvious in her attempt to attract my gaze.

“Oh, cool, where are you staying?” She asked me with her row of very white teeth shining behind her sinful smile.

“America’ Best Value Inn”. I said without thinking. There was a silence at the poker table. I distinctly remember hearing a cricket chirp out by the slot machines. Finally, almost thankfully, an old man at the other end of the table chuckled aloud and muttered “real smooth sonny”.

She got a cell phone call and stepped away from the table. I just sat there saying over and over “America’s Best Value Inn???”

She returned a few minutes late, gathered her chips, and said something about meeting her grandfather for dinner. As she walked away she leaned over and whispered in my ear “ya know, before that whole America’s Best Value Inn deal I was going to have dinner with my father.

She sort of flipped her hair as she strolled away leaving me with the lasting image of her petite, round, derriere bouncing away from me. My only hope is that I run into the founder of America’s Best Value Inn and have the opportunity to knock him the hell out.

Who names their hotel chain something that sounds like a monkey humping a football? Why does it have to be America’s Best? Is that supposed to inspire our patriotic subconscious into convincing us to stay there? If I open a chain of hotels and call it World’s Best Value Inn will that automatically make it a better value then his chain? What is wrong with calling it “The Best Value Inn”? That rolls off the tongue in a much smoother fashion.

As I said earlier I’m now staying here, at the Horseshoe. Of course, I now have no wifi unless I stroll down to the Starbuck’s on the first floor. That whole thing about the young woman, with the green eyes, and blond hair, well, that was made up. I wish it happened though, and maybe in my mind it did. Why not? Don’t cost nothing.

I lost this afternoon at the tables. I’m sort of surprised, really. I’m playing well. I’m making good reads, and I’m making moves at the right time. I’ve been unfortunate in a couple of situations. One guy hit a three outer, and another guy hit a six outer, and both times they took a nice chunk of my pile of chips.

I found out this morning that my uncle had suffered a heart attack. I pray that he recovers. He is stable and in the hospital. I’ve heard they are going to put a stint in his artery. He is in his mid fifties and in wonderful physical shape. His heart condition is in his genes, and therefore in mine as well.

Uncle Jeff is probably the single most influential male, other than my father, to have an impact on my life as I grew through my adolescent and teen age years. He is funny, witty, laughs a most things, athletic, and the best golfer I knew when I was a boy. He’s hardworking and a great husband and father. I’ve seen the relationship and rapport he has with his family, and it appears ideal. God let him be alright, please.

I should get back to the tables.

….Later that same evening…..

I’m sure I hate myself. This entire day, while not quite a disaster, was pretty darn bad. This past evening I played like a chump from off the street enjoying his first time playing “real” poker. I made more bad decisions than George Dubya at a college frat party.

I missed a couple of signals as I blindly bluffed off about three bills just about twenty minutes ago. I’m in the room now, and it is the middle of the night. I am unable to connect to the interweb machine at this hotel, and all I can do is write. The rumor of being able to connect at Starbucks is just that, a rumor. I feel sick to my stomach following this evening's performance at the poker tables.

I was cocky tonight. I deserved to lose. The people I was playing against were not world beaters. I committed entirely too much money when it should have been obvious the guy was not going to fold. He was sick of folding, and he had a flush. It did not matter to him that he had a nine-high flush, and that the board had paired when the river card was dealt. He hesitated about 3 seconds before calling my final raise.

He had been betting the whole hand. Once the river hit, he bet small, like he had a hand, but not a really strong hand. So, I took this to mean he might fold if I put enough heat on his ass.

So wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!

I deserved to be punished when I do stupid things such as donking off my money to my opponents. If you’re not familiar with the term “donking” it refers basically handing your money over because you play poker like a donkey. A donkey in poker circles is a horrible player, a fish, or a sucker.

I feel like a donkey, and now I’m going to change hotels again. I’m moving to Harrah’s, up the street from the Horseshoe, because they allegedly have a wi-fi connection. We shall see.

After this evening of poker I feel like Paddy Harrington probably felt while battling Tiger down the stretch in this weekend’s golf tournament, completely inadequate and unskilled for the task.

I hope tomorrow is a better day, in all regards. I hope my uncle is feels better.