Poker Face

This is something I wrote a little while ago. This may be what laid the original "seed" which grew into a passion propelling me headlong into the world of Poker Rounding. I hope you enjoy....



When I was young, as in my teenage years, one of my favorite things to do was to go to hunting camp with my father during whitetail deer season. I would have everything packed after school on friday, and would eagerly wait for my Dad to come home from work so we could load the truck and head into the Adirondacks. Now, please understand, I truly enjoyed the actual hunting, but the real fun for a teenage boy was the experience of being around the older male family members who were part of the hunting club. These were my formative years, and any deviation from my becoming a "normal" and "functional" adult male can be traced to these weekends during the fall seasons of the late 70's and early 80's.

It was at hunting camp that I learned a joke which required some level of thought was far better than any farting at the dinner table. In fact, farting at the dinner table would most certainly result in the receipt of a backhand. Public farting was not funny. Rigging a glove, on a string, and running the string above the rafters, over to another bunk, so that person could slowly let the glove come down from above and lightly touch the "victim" on the forehead was far more humorous. If you can imagine being in the bunk room, and the only light is the soft glow of the fireplace through the open bedroom door, you can probably figure the ensuing mayhem when the "butt" of the joke realizes something is coming down from the ceiling of this half century old hunting camp. I was not the "butt" of this joke, but my first thought would be SPIDER. Thank you Uncle Jeff for showing me what funny was, and thank you Uncle Tom for teaching me that being a good sport was more important than never feeling embarrassed.

Another favorite time at hunting camp, at least for me, was the time when the hunting was done and dinner was being prepared. You see, it was at this time that the meat, usually venison, was cooking on the wood stove along with the onions softening down. When using a wood stove it is quite difficult to get any intense heat, so everything cooked slowly. We usually had over and hour to wait before dinner was served, and being men (and men in making) we had to kill the time somehow. There was no tv, or even electricity for that matter, but there was always a deck of playing cards.

One game, in particular, that I was introduced to was a game called Liar's poker. This is probably different from the popular version many of you are familiar with in that it was played with a deck of cards instead of dollar bills. This game is built for a group without a table, as we were. The dinner table was set with plates and such, and we all sat on the couches and chairs in front of the fireplace. I'm sure this game was born out of necessity, as only one hand was dealt out at a time, so not everyone's hands held cards, which allowed for grabbing tenderloin cooked over the open flame of the fireplace or a beer from cooler (which I would do later in life).

The rules were basic, which is perfect for a maturing boy. Five cards were dealt to whoever lost the previous hand, deuces were wild (those are two's for the non french speaking folks out there), and after receiving your five cards you had to call a hand that at least was a pair of jacks or better. Easy right? You then, after calling your hand, passed it to the guy on your left, and he either believed you or didn't. If he thought you were lying he flipped the cards over and if you had been "caught" you had to pay 50 cents to the kitty (which went towards beer money). If you were not lying then the non believer had to pay the 50 cents. Pretty simple right? If you chose to believe the man handing you the cards then you had to better whatever hand he had called. You could discard and draw up to five cards. Very simple rules for a very complicated game.

What, you might say, could be so complicated about this game? For starters I soon realized the seating arrangement was very important. I would watch my uncles and friends of family literally wrestle to get to the left of certain people, mainly the newbies and easy "marks". You might say, why the hub bub over 50 cents? I would say it was never about the money, but about the joy associated with catching someone in the lie. Another fun part, or not so fun depending on your perspective, was to watch the hand be passed along, always growing in strength, until someone picks up the cards and you notice a smile start to form on his face as he realizes he now has to beat quad jacks with a seven kicker and his hand now contains 3 6 7 J K, and no wild card. Everyone else had kept a poker face and kept the lie going, until someone finally "broke". I learned quickly the importance of a "Poker Face".

Something else that not many ever seemed to figure out is that, even with wild cards, it is difficult to get a pair of jacks or better. I will never forget the evening my Uncle Dave threw Tom's cards face up four hands in a row, and each time Tom could not beat jacks or better. Tom would say something like " Um, I got, uh, i got a pair of kings, eight, seven, four". Dave would look at him and POW, throw the cards over as Tom dug into his pocket for another 50 cents.

I believe I HAD to learn to play these games to the best of my ability. For these men 50 cents meant nothing, as they were going to pay for the beer anyway. 50 cents to a 14 year old boy was a lot of money in 1981. It was do or die for me. I had to improve. So, I studied, and I watched, and I took it all in, and before long I had the poker face. I learned that drawing to an inside straight was crazy, and I learned that sometimes you just had to LIE. One time my Dad's friend, Gale, commented on how good I was at the game and my Dad said I was a good liar. For years that bothered me, because I thought that was the point, to WIN THE GAME.

Nowadays, these many years later, as I sit at the poker table watching the river card roll off the deck, I think back to those days and smile. I smile because I realize I missed my flush draw and the only way to win the $400 in the pot is to fire my last $250 I have in front of me. I just hope I never lose the Poker Face.

Bush