The Caddy Chronicles part II

The actual drive over Tug Hill was not very eventful. There were no sudden slides off the side of road due to your front tire getting out of the tire track you've been following. It's always fun as your driving probably too fast, and you hit that slightly deeper snow outside the tire tracks, and your car is pulled right or left sharply. It usually leaves you wondering "why on earth was I going that fast?" as you climb out of your car, and begin trudging through the snow to the nearest farm house. If you end up in a snow bank up on Tug Hill you'd better hope there is something nearby. Because, chances are, there is nothing nearby. There is a whole lotta nuthin as your drive from Lowville to Adam's Center on route 177.

There is one small town. Town is not quite right though, and neither is village. It's just a crossroads really, and it used to have a bar on the right hand side, in almost the middle of what is Barnes Corners. I think the bar is gone now, but my cousin ended up in a snowbank just outside of Barnes Corners one winter evening. It was snowing like mad, and as he walked back to the bar for help he was wishing he had worn his boots. He walked inside of the bar room, and it was very dark, with about 5 or 6 men sitting at the bar. There was no one else, save the bartender, in the place. The television was playing above the bar, and the door had a bell on it that rang whenever the door opened or closed. My cousin stomped his snow covered shoes on the rubber mats just inside the door and, sounding quite out of breath after his hike through the blowing snowstorm, said "Hey, anyone got a truck with a chain? I'm down the road, stuck in a snowbank".

It was very quiet for about ten seconds, which seemed like an eternity to my cousin. The only sound was that of Wheel of Fortune on the t.v. Finally, one of the men looked over his right hand shoulder. He gave my cousin the once over, clearly sizing him up, and said in a slow, dry tone "Damn city slickers".

Of course, one of the men got up and offered to help, and my cousin was pulled from the snowbank, and sent on his way to wherever he was headed that winter evening. What was comical to me about the whole thing is my cousin lived somewhere between podunk Beaver Falls and the quaint, but still small, Croghan, NY. He was NO city slicker. He was however, an inexperienced driver. He was driving too fast for the conditions, and he ended up both in a snow bank and with a great story to tell, which I just stole. Oh well, sorry cousin.

I was not going to make the same mistake while driving my grandmother, cousin, aunt, and girlfriend over the Hill at 6 AM in the morning on our way to sunny and warm West Palm Beach, Fl. Of course, I was still not driving slow enough for some of the passengers.

"Riiiiiiick, sloooow down!" It was Kathy. Apparently I was going to fast for her liking. God, her voice was so whiny and piercing.

"Ok". I slowed down a little bit. I may as well try to keep everybody happy, and besides, slowing down just a little wouldn't be the worst idea.

"Dennis says ya get stranded up here you could be in trouble. He thought we should have gone through Watertown, but whatever...". Her voice sort of rambled off. It didn't bother me because I was concentrating on driving, and I wanted to get to Florida. We had 24 hours of driving in front of us, and I knew getting out of the snow would make things that much easier.

We kept going, once we got past Barnes Corners the wind was more evident. There were long wisps of snow that looked like mosquito netting as it was blown across the bare blacktop in front of us. At least it had stopped snowing. The road was clear, and our pace picked up. Through Adam's Center we drove. Past Bob's Doughnuts on the right, and over the railroad tracks. The road was very bumpy here as years and years of frost forming and melting had left the road pot marked. It was sort of like Nature's speed bumps, and a huge pain in the ass.

"Ya think they'll ever fix this road?" I wondered aloud. The road had been this way as long as I could remember.

My gram gave sort of a laugh and said "Adams Center is probably fighting with the state over who should fix it. They both probably want to spend the money because then their buddies could get the business and then they can get the kickbacks. If they don't get their kickbacks then they can't buy their hookers and booze".

We all cracked up. I think I realize where my distrust of government comes from. She continued "You think I'm joking, you'll learn". That is my grandma. She is very opinionated, and is never afraid to voice it. Kathy immediately threw in a "she's right" and the rest of us just chuckled.

We turned left onto the on ramp for I-81 south. We were over Tug Hill and it felt like the rest of the trip was going to be like a stroll down a grassy knoll. Of course, by the end some of us would end up wishing there was a gunman on that grassy knoll.