It Didn't Help

When I am frustrated I feel a need to expel what is inside of me. For years I would have this lash out at the most inopportune times. It would create a family dispute where one never existed. I was, in essence, acting like an ass. These days I just write. Lucky you.

When it gets down to brass tax, I think I'm frustrated at my own decisions in life. How did I get here? It's like that Talking Heads song. You know the one I'm talking about. "Is this my beautiful wife?". If those aren't the exact words they're close enough. I'm not looking anything up on the internet today just to be backed by fact. This is all feel, juts like I wish I played golf.

Money is a funny thing. We all try to lessen its value on each of us, but it is the only real value. Without it one cannot pay the electric bill, or the mortgage, or the cable bill, or the internet bill, or the phone bill, or the text message bill, or the data plan bill, or the health care bill, or the water bill, or the gas bill, or the food bill, or the soccer association bill, or the tackle and flag football bills, or anything.

Crime is caused mostly by people wanting more money. I read somewhere that writing first came to be so people could have a record of who owed who what. That is pretty funny, when you think about it. Writing was invented by accountants? Caveman accountants never had to worry about the cost of fuel oil.

So, what's important? Well, shelter is a must. Food is good. Water is necessary. Electricity is a basic need in today's world (how much is at question). Transportation is required. Education is a necessary expense (going upward all of the time). All other expenses are just electives.

Inflation is getting me. It's burying me. Everything seems to have gone skyward in price over the past 3 years, except MacDonald's and that darn dollar menu. MacDonald's falls into the food category. It is one of the compulsory items. macDonald's is not compulsory. I wish I had an electric company that could figure out how to make money by charging me 2005 prices.

Green energy is expensive. But, it's worth it. That's what I've been told by SNL, and they must know otherwise they could not be so witty. I wish a company would sell me a windmill that could make me enough energy to fuel my house on a daily basis. The technology is probably available, but the cost must not be profitable to try and sell at wal-mart. I can put up a basket ball hoop, can't they build a windmill I can install and plug into my home? I suppose not.

Wouldn't you think they would have come up with an alternative to cow's milk that is less expensive than cow's milk, by now? How can it be cheaper to buy a cow, feed the cow, collect the cow's milk, keep it cold, ship it to the milk factory, follow all of the regulations to guarantee its safety, bottle it, ship it to stores, always keeping it cold, and finally into the consumers hand, than it is to mix a synthetic up in some lab that doesn't have to be kept cold? Couldn't they make it white and have the consistency of real milk? That makes no sense to me, at all.

We like milk. We like real, 2% milk. Purists, we are. So stupid.

Don't even get me started on the automobile. I'm not sure why we don't have cars that will travel 100 miles on a gallon of gas. I'm pretty sure it has to do with regulations, but I don't know. The combustible engine was invented over a 100 years ago. What's up, scientist? How about you guys do something to benefit real people instead of telling me about how a crow may be the smartest animal other than man? Interesting fact, by the way. I saw it in PBS, so it must be true.

My family has a big house because we have too much shit. Carlin did a bit about that, and he nailed it. Anyone remember that? He talked about how we keep getting bigger houses so we have somewhere to put all of the shit we collect throughout our pathetic lives. I think he is right. Right now I'd like to throw everything out, burn down the house, and live in a lean-to.

This has been a bitter essay. It is poorly written. I don't even feel better afterwards because there is no resolution. I feel sick about having to go make money. I hope not many people talk shit today because the pressure release valve on my neck may not be suitable to handle the build up. This endless rant, disguised as an expulsion of feelings, did not help.

At least I have my health. Oh, I pulled my calf muscle yesterday trying to do the right thing. I should have just stayed in front of the football games on tv. There is a reason for everything. That's what I'm told, anyhow. Man, I'm really in a bad mood.

I got to run. I have to make some money so I can afford to buy more shit. Yup, still pissed. It didn't help.